On Joe Biden and the Building Bungle

When I first heard about this yesterday I thought of one thing: God is toying with history. He's having fun, too.

The "Arab League" gets together and grants four months for indirect talks. The US even has a cute little term for them. They're called "proximity talks." They're designed to nurture "proximity," to cozy us up together, to make us see the humanity in each other's eyes, to wring out the love in our hearts, to get us crying on our knees apologizing to each other for years of bloodshed and cycles of violence and etcetera. Ah...proximity.

Well, I'm not sure what the heck the "Arab League" has to do with the man on the moon here, but whatever. If they want to say something and pretend they're relevant, then go for it. Knock your socks off. Just keep them out of my laundry.

All of the political pundits, even the leftist ones, were saying this was a joke. It was just a tactic to get something done about Iran. But still, there's that fear...that even though Abbas's term actually ran out in February and he is no longer a "Democratically elected leader" anymore so to speak, and the Arabs of Judea and Samaria are split into so many warring gangs that their hatred for Jews has actually been diluted slightly...there's still that slight fear that someone will start talking and then Netanyahu will, I don't know, do something stupid and give away the Kinneret. Then you have to brace for a wave of Arab violence that always accompanies true Peace Talks. This is why I had a rock thrown at my head two days ago on my way home. Thank God I was on a bulletproof bus.

Then Joe Biden gets here and the proximity talks are about to start...and...OH...1,600 housing units and it's all shot to Gehenom.

I cracked up. I see the pattern. It's a beautiful pattern. And I think this is the last stitch. Here's the pattern. Every peace round we make lasts shorter than the previous one. Oslo the longest, Road Map, Annapolis, Olmert's little offer, they just keep failing quicker and quicker. And now there's the Proximity Talks. The Arabs can't even bear to talk to the Jews directly. Anyway, those lasted less than 24 hours, and they didn't even get started.

And then the Arab League had a long talk with the man on the moon and gathered for an "emergency session" and ended up saying that they're very very mad and Israel is very very bad and they don't like Israel anymore and I want my lolly pop. Then they shook the man on the moon's hand and went to bed all self righteous and angry about Jewish housing in Jerusalem.

Have you ever been in a car that ran out of gas? I have, once. Let me explain how it moves. You're driving, everything's fine, and then your engine sputters. Momentum keeps you going, so you're still moving forward. The engine stops, but there are still some fumes and drops of fuel left, so it starts up again, and sputters. Turns off, turns back on. Then the car runs out of momentum and stops. So you start it again. It drives for a few seconds, and then sputters again, stops. Momentum starts slowing...slowing...slowing. Then your car stops. Again. So you start your car one more time at a standstill, you have some "Proximity Talks" with your car. It starts, and then immediately it stops again. You try to start it, and this time it just doesn't do anything. You're not going anywhere - at least not in the direction you were going before.

But here's the fun part. You were driving uphill the whole time. You don't even realize that your home is the other way. All you have to do is release the parking brake and you'll roll down faster and faster and get there in no time at all. It's just that your driver doesn't want to release the brake and roll down. He doesn't know what's down there. He doesn't like the incline.

Right now, Israel's not moving anywhere. She's out of gas. There's a huge gravitational pull of Jewish identity pulling her in the opposite direction, but the driver won't release the break and let her roll.

But the new driver is coming. The old one is scared. He won't leave the driver's seat even though the car won't move and he's out of fuel. But his time is up. The new driver is knocking on the window. Bibi locks the doors.

The passengers are getting annoyed. All the cars are honking at them as they pass, brighting them and yelling slurrs. "GET OFF THE ROAD!" they scream. "YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO BE HERE!" It's no longer legitimate that they're on the road. They may cause an accident, just sitting there with no fuel. The passengers are getting scared and they see the new driver knocking. He's got a sign on his shirt that says "Jewish Leadership." The passengers are about to throw the driver out of the car and let the new one step inside and release the break.

And like a loaded spring, let the car fly faster and faster in the right direction home.